I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I HAD A THOUGHT AND NOW IT WONT LEAVE
so i was shutting down some negativity with a positive qt about this summary:
and i was being very “hey these bonds need a shot at forming too” (because they do and sam&cas deserve some bro time that isn’t centered around OMG WE NEED TO SAVE DEAN) when it dawned on me:
mary was paired up with sam when they split up and they talked about bobby and how she finds it hard to get him to open up cause walls
and what was she wearing?
and who ELSE do we know wears a tan coat, hmm?
me when i connected the dots
ME AN HOUR LATER AFTER IT PROCESSED:
YALL
like imagine
cas and sam are in the car driving home. sam checks in with cas, just seeing how he’s doing emotionally cause that’s sam for ya. cas tries to use the winchester f word but half way through the syllable opens up about how he wishes dean would just talk to him about his trauma and let down his walls
and sam tells him the same thing he told his mother: that if he cares about him, and he knows cas does, he’d try to get past that wall.
i’m a freakin endgame-positive shipper and i’m gobsmacked at how freaking obvious they’re being
I never thought Dean would be the one to leave hunting, but I have a feeling that’s where they’re going.
Dean feeling out of place in the bunker, while Sam fits in a leadership role. The call back to 2.20 where Dean’s dream life was having his brother, his mother, and a significant other. Dean’s desire for a family and a legacy in 3.02.
Dean has his mom back, he has his brother.
So that leaves a significant other and a not-son/a legacy.
He’s got an adopted Not Son, and in season 5, he ends up with the Not Son’s parent.
Now who did Jack claim as his parent, as his father? Who has a history with Dean and dark hair and snarky attitude? Who is a caring parent, but also a badass?
Sam thought he knew what he was doing with his life. He thought he knew his brother, Dean. He thought he knew all there was about killing monsters.
But here he is, feeling at home leading a crew of hunters in a war against empowered creatures they haven’t a clue on how to fight, and getting to know his brother all over again, in a new light.
Sometimes the years strip you away until you’re left with who you really are.
The bustle of the Bunker nearly put him to sleep, the hunters’ movements slow and hypnotic. Watching his friends dance around each other, exchanging weapons and ammunition as if they were greetings. It brought a smile to Sam’s lips to see how comfortable they’ve become with the Bunker. He knew their network would be strong, but Sam never suspected the other world’s refugees would choose his home as theirs. Figuring that, like all hunters, they would prefer the open roads and cheap motels. He should have realized they were nothing like the old breed of hunters – especially since they prefer working together.
‘It seems it’s not just the monsters that are evolving…’
“I thought I told you to get some sleep.”
Sam turns. Dean stands in the archway, his arms paternally crossed – an image so familiar it’s burned in his mind. As is Dean’s ‘I-know-better-listen-to-me’ scowl. The title needs work, but his brother patented “bitch-face” and while he’s loath to admit it, it’s a great name. So great, he slips into one he’s perfected that, when paired with the right words, will have Dean disarmed in no time.
He frowns. “I was. Figured if I did a bit more tonight I’d be able to sleep in. Although… weren’t you supposed to be sleeping, too?” The blow lands, and Dean staggers backwards. The tips of his ears burn an incriminating scarlet, and he can’t meet Sam’s eyes anymore. ‘Point for me.’
“So we both have trouble sleeping,” he says, “Not surprising.”
“Not at all.”
“Anyway…” Dean clears his throat, unsticking his gaze from the floor to the scene behind Sam. “Didn’t know if you wanted to… talk.”
Sam’s eyes widen. “Talk?”
“Yeah?”
“Um… okay.” They’ve been having a lot of discussions lately. As if they were tying up loose ends or buttoning scenes in a television show – the types of things that make you feel like something’s finished when in reality, the story’s only just beginning. But never at Dean’s behest: Sam always making the opening parlay. If he wants to open the lines of communication first then it must be important.
He looks to Dean, waiting. His brother stalls as well, skittish, his jaw working through the words he wants to say. It’s all for naught, as a hunter squeezes past them and upends all of Dean’s thoughts. “Why don’t we do this somewhere else?”
Dean is sitting alone nursing a beer in the kitchen when Cas and Jack get home from Sarasota. He hears the bunker door bang shut and Jack’s voice carries as he greets the hunter crew. He’s describing their hunt and Dean smiles to himself when he hears Jack refer to Cas as “my father.”
“Hello, Dean,” there’s an audible smile in Cas’s deep gravel and it’s a balm to Dean’s exhausted mind.
“Heya Cas,” he must sound as tired as he feels, because Cas drops a hand on his shoulder and when Dean turns to look at him, his face is squinty with concern.
“How are you feeling, Dean. You look… tired.” Cas hesitates on the word ‘tired’ as if he really wants to use a different word but has thought better of it. For a minute Dean has the urge to lie, to shoot Cas a cocky grin and claim to be right as rain. But he’s been down that road so many times and though he knows he could swallow this pain and pretend to be fine, he also knows that way just isn’t working anymore. He’s buried so much pain within himself there isn’t room for any more and what he’s already carrying is threatening to spill over and engulf him completely. So he just doesn’t. He looks into Cas’s blue eyes and feels himself crumble.
“I am, Cas. I’m so tired I can feel it in my bones. I’m exhausted.” With mild horror, he feels tears prick at the edges of his eyes and he ducks his head so Cas won’t see him cry. But Cas, isn’t having it. He refuses to let Dean hide from him. In less than a second, he hauls Dean to his feet and wraps him in a fierce hug. Dean lets himself slump against Cas’s strong body and it’s just such a relief to be held. Just to be held. He sobs quietly into Cas’s shoulder.
“Dean,” Cas murmurs, tightening his arms around him. “It’s alright. You’re strong for everybody all the time. You support us all. Let me support you now.” Dean nods, his head still pressed hard into the crook of Cas’s neck.
“Ok,” he whispers. “Ok, Cas.” Cas pulls back for a moment to look into his face. Softly, tentatively, he brushes a thumb across Dean’s cheek, catching a tear and wiping it away. Dean’s hard resolve is long gone now and he leans into to touch, looking up at Cas through his wet lashes. Cas swallows without looking away and Dean can see him come to a decision. It’s not a surprise when Cas’s soft mouth meets his but Dean’s heart gives a great leap in his chest. He pulls Cas closer, his hands scrabbling against that ever present trenchcoat. Together they deepen the kiss until they both have to break away to breathe. Dean smiles at Cas shyly.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he admits. Cas grins back at him and it’s beautiful, like sunshine through trees.
“Me too.” He pulls Dean close again, reaching out and tucking his head back into the crook of his neck. Dean sighs against his skin. “Let’s get out of the kitchen. We could be overrun by Sam’s hunter crew any minute.” Dean nods in agreement.
“We could go to my room,” he offers quietly. “I wasn’t lying when I said was tired. It’s been… difficult to sleep since I got back. It seems like when I’m asleep I remember more of…” He trails off, traitorous lips trembling. “Maybe you could, I dunno, watch over me like you used to?” He wills himself not to feel like a prize git asking for this.
“What if I laid down with you and held you while you slept?” Cas ventures. “If it seems like you’re having a nightmare, maybe I can soothe you or wake you up?” Dean wants to burst into tears because of how much he wants that.
“Yeah, Cas. Yeah, I’d like that.” Another beautiful smile breaks across Cas’s face. He pulls Dean even closer and Dean wraps an arm around his waist. They move down the hall to Dean’s bedroom together without letting go if each other.
In the room, Dean strips down to his boxers and climbs into his bed. He looks at Cas’s fully dressed figure and smiles.
“If you’re going to lay down with me, you’re gonna have to lose the coat and suit, Cas.” Cas nods and proceeds to do just that. Once he’s also in his boxers, he slides into the bed next to Dean. Dean rolls over and Cas instinctively wraps himself around him. For the first time since Michael left, Dean feels himself relax. Cas’s body is warm and solid at his back and Dean feels as safe as he’s ever felt. As he snuggles against him, he hears Cas’s soft voice in his ear.
“Sleep, Dean. I’m here. I won’t leave you. Ever.”
Dean closes his eyes and slides into a dreamless sleep.
I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I HAD A THOUGHT AND NOW IT WONT LEAVE
so i was shutting down some negativity with a positive qt about this summary:
and i was being very “hey these bonds need a shot at forming too” (because they do and sam&cas deserve some bro time that isn’t centered around OMG WE NEED TO SAVE DEAN) when it dawned on me:
mary was paired up with sam when they split up and they talked about bobby and how she finds it hard to get him to open up cause walls
and what was she wearing?
and who ELSE do we know wears a tan coat, hmm?
me when i connected the dots
ME AN HOUR LATER AFTER IT PROCESSED:
YALL
like imagine
cas and sam are in the car driving home. sam checks in with cas, just seeing how he’s doing emotionally cause that’s sam for ya. cas tries to use the winchester f word but half way through the syllable opens up about how he wishes dean would just talk to him about his trauma and let down his walls
and sam tells him the same thing he told his mother: that if he cares about him, and he knows cas does, he’d try to get past that wall.
i’m a freakin endgame-positive shipper and i’m gobsmacked at how freaking obvious they’re being
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