sweat (rylex / good game)

uruheadnsfw:

It was an uncomfortable silence as Ryland laid on his back, Alex sitting up next to him with the blankets curled around his chest. The corner of the duvet was wrapped around his hips, hiding his asscrack, but it wasn’t like Ryland was looking. He was staring up at the ceiling, feeling the sweat start to dry on his forehead and temples, still in this strange, dewy afterglow of sex.

And then he started crying.

Ugly, gross sobs as he covered his face, elbows pointed to the sky and cried.

“What– Ry, Ry, Ryland, Ryland, it’s okay, baby, nonono, don’t cry, don’t–”

Alex was on him in an instant, hands pressed against his chest and his ribs, then smoothing back his hair and shushing him.

“Shhh, shh, baby, you’re okay, you’re okay..!”

Everything was so loud, and it felt like too much, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Nothing here was the same, they were going to be kicked out, they weren’t going to win Bloodmatch, there wasn’t anything he could fucking do to get the team to cooperate. Alex was the only thing he had left, and he’d probably fucked that up too when he grabbed the back of his head and kissed him when Alex was high as shit.

Alex was kissing at his neck and his jaw, trying to pry his hands away from his face, and Ryland wanted to scream. Why was he doing this, why was- why was he trying to make this better, when he had fucked it all up? He fucked everything up, he didn’t do anything right– his mouth started moving, and he was burbling out words unintentionally, hiccupping and feeling like… like puking. His body felt like it was revolting.

“Ryland, shut the fuck up!”

Alex smacked him in the chest, a sharp sound in comparison to Ryland’s throaty gasps and whines. He sucked in a breath and held it as long as he could – just a few seconds – before letting out another gross boo-hoo. Fuck, he was pathetic.

Still, Alex persisted. He grabbed Ryland’s wrists and pulled them down with surprising strength, down to his chest, and Ryland turned his body so he could hide his face in the pillows instead.

“Ry..! Ryland, come on, man. Look at me.”

“No… No, I-I’m–”

“If you say that you’re too gross to look at, you’ve seen me in a pile of my own vomit on the couch out there, do not tell me about how gross you are for crying.”

His voice was firm, and Ryland felt… obligated. He’d fucked everything up this far, what would some snot and tears do to this already broken friendship?

Ryland turned his head and looked blearily at Alex, pressing his mouth into a tight line to try to keep in the sounds threatening to escape in the back of his throat. And Alex looked at him, quietly, with these big eyes that were a little hazy still, but still full of… softness.

Alex reached out and cupped the side of his face with a soft sigh. “Ryland. Come on, man, you’re okay. Breathe for me, buddy.”

Ryland’s mouth opened with that weird stickiness that happened when you cry, like your body is trying to glue itself back together, because he was falling apart at the seams. “I’m not. I’m not okay.”

“Yes you are.” Alex’s thumb swiped over his cheek. “You’re–”

“I fucked this up. I fucked us up, I fucking fucked it, I–” Ryland’s breath shuddered in his chest, starting another round of sobs. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you, I’m just so fucking lonely, you’re the only one who fucking cares!”

Alex cooed as he scooted up the bed,  sliding his arm under Ryland’s head and holding him closer. A hand cupped the back of Ry’s neck as he pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, closing his eyes. “Shhh, baby. Shhh, you’re okay. We’re okay. I’m still here, we’re still here.”

… god, Alex was warm. He wrapped his arm around Alex’s middle and pulled him so that he could bury his face in Alex’s chest, nose pressed to his sternum in a way that was uncomfortable, crowding. Close.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Ryland, shut the fuck up, man.” Alex laughed breathlessly. “I’m not sorry. I… I had a good time. We don’t have to take it any farther than we did, man, or we can, or whatever. We’re basically fucking married, this is just the next step. I’m not mad, I’m not sorry, and you shouldn’t be either.”

Alex seemed genuine. Which… he was always genuine. A serious character flaw in Ryland’s perspective, but Ry placed his hand, spanned as wide as possible, across Alex’s back and let out a shaky breath.

Alex pet the back of his head some more, pulled the hair out from beneath his head, from around his neck, and let it spread onto the pillow. He ran his fingers through it slow, and kissed the top of his head again.

“Don’t sweat it, baby. I’m here for you, I’m not leaving.”