frecklesandfeathers:

While it was pouring the other day I had this Destiel scene in my head for Season 13. I was thinking about how protective Cas is going to be over Jack but also over Dean and Sam, knowing that Asmodeus won’t stop until he’s found a way to get to Jack which means he might try and hurt the boys… 

And we know Cas won’t have any of that.

So what if he takes off again? With Jack? To keep him safe and keep Asmodeus’ minions away from Dean and Sam?

Then this scene came to me.

Like maybe they all just got attacked by some strong ass demons, barely surviving, Cas has had enough and by the end of the episode he sits the boys down in some diner near the motel they were all at for some reason and explains (he’s learned not to just up and leave anymore because… Dean…) that he will be leaving with Jack for the betterment of the team and yada yada, all while Dean sits there in silence, on the verge of either screaming or crying (or both) and still has not said a thing by the time Cas gets up, walks out the door, and meets Jack near his truck (maybe he has his truck back, who knows).

Jack gets in the passenger seat and as Cas makes his way to the driver’s side, Dean comes out, chasing after him. It’s night. It’s raining. But Dean gives no shits as he gets soaked, desperately trying to reach Cas before he leaves.

Cas looks at him when he hears Dean call out his name. “Cas, wait!”

And when Dean nears him, he holds his hands out, a gesture he hopes will make Cas pause just for a goddamned minute. “Man, you can’t go. Not now.”

Castiel sighs, almost seeming annoyed but his facade is quickly broken when Dean adds “I just got you back.”

This is when we see Cas’ demeanor changes. He’s not the dutiful angel anymore. He’s not the all mighty protector of Jack or The Winchesters.

He’s Cas. Dean’s best friend.

“Don’t make this harder, Dean.”

Harder? Dean thinks. HARDER? But before Dean can spit out some angered retort about things being hard, because he just spent what felt like a lifetime without Cas, thinking he’d never see him again. Thinking he was gone forever. Thinking he’d never see those blue eyes again or that stupid hair, or that cute dorky smile he rarely gets to see but it’s so adorable Dean can’t get enough of it.

Before he can say all that, Cas adds,”Do you think it’s easy? Leaving you?”

Dean opens his mouth to speak but closes it, a little surprised that this conversation is even taking this turn. Castiel walks closer to him with that determined look: all squints and brow that he does when he’s demanding Dean to take him seriously, to really listen to him, and Dean can’t help but shut the fuck up and do so.

“It’s never easy for me, Dean. It’s never pleasant knowing I need to go away. Far away. Do you–” Cas pauses, looking down and all around, as if he’s finding it hard to even look Dean in the eyes.

“Do I, what?” Dean just has to ask.

“Do you know how badly I wanted to find my way back to you… when I was gone? Do you?”

Dean feels his heart explode in his chest. “Cas, I–”

“I need to do this. It’s for the best so please trust me, this time. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Dean swallows, thickly. Cas is right but so is he. He was fucking miserable without Cas. He felt his world slip away and nothing made sense anymore. All those dark nights Dean lied awake in bed, praying, begging the world to give him back and he finally got him back and for what? For him to leave again?

“I trust you. I just don’t want you to go,” is all he can muster. 

Cas softens, flashing Dean his best puppy dog expression that makes Dean wish he could just take Cas’ face in his hands and kiss him until he promises to stay. To never leave. 

But he doesn’t do that. He just stands there, soaked and cold as Castiel lifts a hand to his cheek and lightly caresses it. “I love you, Dean. But I have to go.”

And just like that, Cas is gone. He drives away in the truck with Jack and leaves Dean standing alone in the rain, the drops concealing the tears running down his cheeks.